reached the height

One last example is that by the time I was 10/11 I had the body of a woman. Puberty kicked in and by 13 I had ,aion kinah,reached the height I would be for the rest of my life. It's an awkward time for everyone right? Well from then on the comments I got from my family were about my size. There were times when yes, I was an extremely underweight kid, that then turned into an overweight kid. Then I became a regular sized teen but you know what? They still called me fat. Daily. Not friends or strangers, my own family. Let's not forget I'm Samoan. I have always weighed more than my peers by at least 10kg. I was 54kg when I met Andrew and the first thing my Dad said to him about me,Knight Noah, when they met was that I would be a real asset to the hairdessing place if I lost a bit more weight so I brought in more male customers. Yeah. That's great for a teenage girls self esteem. I had just somehow lost a lot of weight and spent the past 2 years getting comfortable in my own body. It was so normal to me to hear comments like this that I didn't think it was weird. Annoying yes but totally normal for a Dad to say things like that.
I don't share these stories because I'm bitter or want to embarrass my family. I love my family.
I share them to show that weight issues really can stem from childhood experiences. I can now no longer eat ,RIFT plat,noodles and it's a battle for me to NOT finish my plate. I do feel anxiety around certain foods, I see people cut the fat off their meat and my heart races. I want to tell them they're stupid and wasting the best part. Looking at noodles literally makes me gag. I am extremely self conscious of men looking at me to the point that being fat is like an armour. I don't have to deal with it if I'm fat.
Needless to say cleaning your plate is not a rule enforced in my house and I'm aware of the words I use in front of my children.
I hope that sharing this raises some kind of awareness for us as parent's, that our behaviours toward food can impact,eve isk. our children's relationship with it and that both people that struggle with their weight and people who have never encountered this struggle can either relate or understand that weight loss really is more than just working out and eating less. There are habits to be unlearned, there's guilt and anxiety, self imposed beliefs that hit you right at your core and stir up memories which can lead to sabotage and a failing belief in yourself. It is a fight. There's a reason they call it a journey and the quote "Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more,metin2 yang, important than the outcome." exists.
I'm happy, I'm excited. I'm still tired and learning but I believe in me. I'm getting there. One day at a time. This week..5 of them in a row.
I'm out to replace the negative habits with positive ones.
I will do it and it will be fun!
Now I just have to hope my family will still talk to me after this post!